Made by the right hands with the proper ingredients I truely believe a sandwich is a work of art.
I live in America where we don’t have 1 sandwich combination, or even 5; we probably have billions (we have to keep the yups interested after all). So when you go to your local sandwich place whether is a chain or not you have a lot of choices. I can deal with that. In fact, you can some of the craziest sandwiches in the world but I’m probably going to order the same thing: Turkey and Ham on wheat with lettuce, onions, pickles and some yellow mustard. To me, that is a classic deli sandwich and generally that is what I want from a deli.
So on to the retards…
KT is out for the night so I am on my own for food. I head to the local “chain” deli. Today they are all the same, each one is a franchise owned by some guy in his late 30’s early 40’s who is also the manager. He manages to work from 9am to 10:30am everyday and skips out before the lunch rush. While he is gone…Enter our first two retards…”Skippy” the local 17 year old high school kid and his buddy “Stu” run the place. They don’t give a fuck about sandwichs or anything really, other than the next time Dave Matthew’s Band is playing locally. I can forgive them on that. They probably make minimum wage, have shit hours, and have to deal with retards all day. They pretty much have no drive and are likely to attempt to make sweet love to a parking meter if given the opportunity at some point in their lives. I’m not judging them, I’m just calling them for what they are. I’m sure they are very happy gentlemen and I don’t begrude them that.
So when I go in to have “Skippy” and “Stu” work me up a sammich I’m not expecting much. I’m not going to ask them whats in the honey mustard and wall-flower sauce or the gluten count on the Bermuda Basil Banana Bread. In fact, I’m going to do my damnedest to talk very slow, use small words and be polite.
Enter more retards…….”Brenda” and her out-of-work-mechanic boyfriend “Jeremy” come into the Deli. Brenda wants to “try something new.” So she picks some sandwich that really amounts to chicken, cheese and bread. Sure, there are some complicated words that go along with it but at its fundemental level it’s chicken, cheese and bread. Brenda has a lot of questions for “Stu”(Stu has the shit job of dealing with the sandwich orders and Skip got him the job and doesn’t want to do shit) about the make-up of these components. She might has well have asked him for the atomic number of Uranium, because either way he has no fucking clue. So for the next 3 minutes there is an exchange of “What does it taste like” followed by “Uh…well…I dunno…” Finally, after deciphering the Rosetta Stone that is the deli menu, it’s time to top this fantastic chicken, cheese and bread combo. Brenda asks for “light lettuce”, and to his credit Stu puts what I would agree to be a light amount of lettuce. “OHMAGOD thats too much.” So Stu trying to help the woman takes off about 1/3 of the already light lettuce he has equipped on the sandwich. “Oh thats still too much.” This goes on for about a minute. It turns out, Brenda really just wanted a few shreds of lettuce to accidently fall into the sandwich rather than actually having anthing that can be considered a “topping” amount of lettuce. She finally finishes raising my blood pressure and now it’s the stud’s turn.
At this point all I could think of was Dane Cook’s comedy act about couples fighting and the guy saying “Uh, fucking…” before everything he said. This was very close to how our good friend Jeremy talked. He didn’t really say “Uh, fucking…” before everything but I am going to add it for dramatic effect (Don’t hate me, it’s my fucking story, ya douche bag. Write your shit about Delis).
“Uh, fucking…yeah I’ll have the….uh, fucking…BLT.” says Jeremy.
“OK, on what kind of bread?” questions Stu.
Jeremy replies “Uh, fucking…uh…oh yeah…some fucking white bread. But…uh, fucking, instead of like just a BLT…uh…can I get…uh fucking…turkey on there.”
“Sure, you want a Turkey and Bacon sub?” Stu steps into the trap.
“Nah dude, nah. I want a…uh fucking….BLT…but I want Turkey on there.” Jeremy fires back.
At this point, I’m mentally begging Stu to just pull the ejection lever and roll with it. “Please Stu, for the love of God please.” I wish.
Stu offers “Well you can get Lettuce and Tomato on a Turkey and Bacon sub.”
“Uh, fucking….uh, ok dude.”
Ok that wasn’t horrible. Not as bad as I thought anyway. But then…then the moment came…like a boot traveling through space, entering our atmosphere and lodging itself directly into my nuts:
Stu begins putting Lettuce and Tomato on the “BLT with Turkey”.
“DUDE! DUDE! DUDE! Uh, fucking….don’t put any of that shit on there” Jeremy cries.
“Any of what shit?” Stu is ensnared int he second trap.
“Uh fucking…any of that lettuce and..uh, fucking…tomato shit.”
At this point I laugh under my breath, and Jeremy throws me a look. At which I shake my head.
It begs the question. Who is more retarded? The guys who work there, the idiots in front of me or me for knowing damn well this will all happen and going there anyway?
I worked from home today so things were pretty low key. We took the KTmobile in for some maintenance this morning. There were some problems with the A/C as well as a huge paint chip in the hood. I’m not sure how the paint chip happened, but it looks like it had been there a while and we just didn’t notice. Overall, I would say this is probably the last Ford vehicle I would ever buy. I don’t think they make quality products and the service at our local delievership is pretty awful. The only reason we ever go there is for the location. Other than that not too much went on today to mention. I think we are in for some stroms tonight as the temperature has drastically dropped over the course of the day and the sky is nothing but clouds.
I set some goals for this weekend and they were mostly accomplished. I haven’t yet uploaded the wedding pictures. I did manage to work on the raid tool some. I had to debug a few more things in my setup and dig up a few objects I was still missing when the project was converted to a new version. We also went to Maxwell Street Days on Sunday in the furious heat. KT and I got up early and met Firethorn, Redleader and Redleader’s parents. It was a very good time, despite getting an understanding of how warm hell is on a cold day. After getting home from that, I took a cold shower and settle into WoW for a bit. We managed to get KT a few levels and with the help of Southern and Fire we finished out Shadow Fang Keep. It was good time.
Work cruised by today. My allergies flared up around lunch which made the rest of the day “fun”.
I have been multi-tasking my ass off this week. Everytime I sit down to do something I seem to hit an interrupt. I’m slowing working everything back down between home and work. The week is going ok other than busy. Hopefully I can push out a few things this week that I have started behind the scenes.
So I woke up today strongly believing it was Friday. I have no idea why. It was a little depressing but not too horrible. I wanted to sleep in, but I forced myself to get up and meet the day. Part of my drive is that I really want to attend the MC raid tonight which starts insanely early for me. It bascially requires that I be on around 5:30-6pm. I hate having to rush home from work to do it. However, it is still the run I have the most to gain from by going. I get a lot of good experience tanking. Most of gang can get in so we usually have a good time talking to each other. There is also still a lot of gear there that I many of us can use, myself included.
We ran UBRS last night, largely for Jeho and Doc but a few other people got quests they needed done. I was hoping Drak’s shield would drop, but alas it did not. I am hoping once UBRS gets switched to a 10 man instance we can run it a few times and I can get the shield. Firethorn also made a comment about wanting it, for the Fire Resist I’m sure. It would be nice if a couple of us could pick it up.
Firethorn was nice enough to upgrade my blog engine and he also found a nifty plugin that spruces up the back end a bit. I’m really happy with the changes. Keeping things fresh is always a nice bonus.
I’m sitting in my staff meeting at work right now feeling pretty bored. I’m excited to start my new job and I’m fighting to stay dedicated to my current job rather than just kite it along until I am done. We’ll see how long I last.
I’m going to my alma mater tomorrow to interview people for a testing position in my group. Should be a fun day.
